Breaking Chains- How She Found Freedom from TOXIC Love

When Morgan Franklin from Kilgore, Texas, steps into our studio, she brings with her a story that resonates with anyone who's ever yearned for spiritual liberation and personal empowerment. Her journey, ripe with lessons on confronting inner demons and the pursuit of ongoing growth in faith, unfolds in a conversation that’s as enlightening as it is emotional. Morgan details her experiences in a life-altering class that tackled the deep-seated issues of anger and forgiveness, and she shares how embracing these lessons has been pivotal in her quest for true freedom.

Through the lens of Morgan's transformative experiences, we traverse the terrain of forgiveness in the context of toxic relationships, a space where personal well-being must take precedence over the expectations laid upon us. The power of setting boundaries emerges as a beacon of hope for those caught in the tangles of detrimental connections. We dissect the complex process of forgiving those who may be beyond reach and the courageous act of taking control of our narratives to heal. Join us as we explore these profound themes with Morgan, whose testament to faith and freedom offers a guiding light on the path to healing and self-discovery.

Chapters

• 0:00 Finding Freedom in Testimony Journey
• 12:09 Navigating Forgiveness in Toxic Relationships
• 19:17 Handling Toxic Relationships With Boundaries

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Before we get into today's video, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the new subscribers. If you haven't yet consider subscribing, hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video. A major portion of you that watch my videos haven't subscribed yet, so why not? It's free. You can also find a PayPal link below if you want to give a one-time or give a monthly to support the channel. Anything, great or small, is appreciated. Now let's get into the video. So make sure you give a thumbs up. Actually, the thumbs up helps the algorithm for other people to find the video because you're saying that you enjoy it, so that's free of charge. Today I have with me in case I didn't say it already, morgan Franklin. This is actually I'm going to do it again because it was worth it Morgan Franklin hails from the city of Kilgore, texas. That's what the angel things were for, anyways.

Speaker 1: 0:53

And my sense of them is so pale Well we have good lighting in here, it makes everyone look pale and, you could definitely, it accentuates my five head. So it's beyond, beyond the growth we're trying to grow here as people. It's beyond a forehead, it's a five head. So you, you said to me a few sundays ago actually several sundays ago now we had to wait a little bit for scheduling but that you wanted to share your testimony. So it was wednesday. Was it wednesday? It was we d. Was it a Wednesday? All my days blend together because I'm always serving the Lord. So, on the note of that now, what made you decide to share your story?

Speaker 2: 1:33

Well, what made me want to decide to do that was because I was taking my godmother's walking in freedom class and she mentioned, hey, video testimony testimony. If any of you wanted to do it, let me know. I was like going home praying about it that you started like don't just. I was just like, oh, I knew it now yeah go home, pray about it.

Speaker 1: 1:59

I go back with her and said I'm interested and if you don't know off camera she has, let me see if I put a wider shot. You still can't see her. It's a lady in our church y'all have actually heard me talk about on this live stream, about this class. Uh, she came. It was a couple years ago now. Maybe she does a. It's called ray, has retreat in kilgore, texas, and she does a class there that is called Finding Freedom, and in my heart, that's what the church should be about is finding freedom. I think we have a lot of people that come to church but they aren't free. So we have a full of people but with no freedom. So we started that class actually at our church. It's a class that she designed and developed and so that's the class she's talking about.

Speaker 1: 2:44

That morgan went through and to kind of walk us through the process as you were going through this class. Another class is very personal. It's actually a woman's class. It's been thinking about designing it for men. Tossing that idea around, I think a lot of men try to pretend like they don't have any issues and they got it all together and we're tough and strong and nothing can break us like a rock or whatever. But a lot of times we suppress that and it ends up turning into depression and suicide, just like anybody else. So what was the process walking through that class that they got you to where you felt like, okay, now I realize that I actually have a testimony so you want me to go all the way back to my ex?

Speaker 2: 3:25

or like, how far right do you want me to start? Go back as far as you yeah, go back.

Speaker 1: 3:28

I mean we don't want your childbirth. I don't think you remember that. So just don't go back that far, absolutely not. But just kind of tell a little bit of your story, kind of where you started from, where you're from, things like that Kind of what helped shape you as a young adult now, and then I got you to a place where it's on. I think, yeah, it's on.

Speaker 2: 3:48

All right. So the whole process. Honestly, I was thinking I found my freedom already. I thought I had already found my freedom, but as I went through each class, each week, through the anger and the shaming, the guilt that's it Hold on a little bit, so, off camera, I probably won't be able to hear you.

Speaker 1: 4:11

So she'll say it and you repeat it what? There's nine weeks, right? Yeah? There's ten weeks, okay, forgiveness is two weeks, right, yeah? So what's, week by week? What's in each one? Do you remember offhand?

Speaker 2: 4:25

Why Indexed?

Speaker 1: 4:28

How pain's affecting my life Blame.

Speaker 2: 4:32

Blame, yeah, anger, and then blame, and then forgiveness, and then on your identity rise the mercy of the cross, and then the very last attitude.

Speaker 1: 4:47

That's a big one right there yes how to continue to walk in freedom.

Speaker 1: 4:51

That's the last week because, honestly, there's no point in going through the class if you're not going to apply it and continue to walk it out, like I think that's what's lost big time in the church is that people maybe come to the altar. They get a good feeling. Uh, it's kind of built on emotionalism and stuff like that. You feel good, you think you felt like you've done something which god may have touched you then, but we take that touch and we turn it into a a one particular time and that's it. It came down. We felt something once and done yeah, once and done. So, as you're walking through these classes, like what was it that began to break free or or begin to, I guess, lead you to a place of brokenness and freedom? As you were going through these classes, like what was it?

Speaker 2: 5:35

week by week, every week was kind of chipping away at the yeah, I was like every week I was chipping away at what my ex had done to me.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:46

And for those that don't know, I was in a relationship two years ago, just about two years ago now, only two years, in April 1st Sunday, april Fool's.

Speaker 1: 5:59

April Fool's me Now. I don't know if you remember, but I remember the Sunday that you felt God tell you that you needed to break up with him.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Yes.

Speaker 1: 6:08

You were up in the booth because she worked. She's if you ever hear me talk about our church and the people that are always behind the scenes that nobody ever knows something's that they're there unless something goes wrong. She's one of those people. She's the one up in the booth doing the words and anything that the pre. If you ever watch our live stream, which there's a link to our church on every live stream, every video, if you want to check it out, connect-churchcom, join the online community, come and see us in person. Always invite new people to come. She's the one that does all that. So the pre-service countdown and all the things of that nature. But she was up in the booth and I remember her coming down and I'm like her really the the relationship part of her life. She was finally given that completely to god and it was like you were. You were broken I was broken.

Speaker 2: 6:58

I mean, I mean my parents were out of town. Thank you for that, lord. Seriously, thank you for that. Lord, had the house myself. Thank you, lord. Yeah, my grandpa was the only one and the minute god told me I was up in the booth just worshiping, I remember that, eyes closed, surrendered and it just hit and the holy spirit's just eating.

Speaker 1: 7:27

That's like hey, because that's how most of us do. We have to have it done or we won't listen.

Speaker 2: 7:32

Yeah you need, you need to break up with him.

Speaker 1: 7:35

I just wrote, I just went to all like altar ends, like was it during worship or was it at the end of the service? It was at the end of service. Yeah, okay, also recall okay, I couldn't remember, because sometimes a lot of times at our church, like I, I tell the people that are on the worship team or that serve during the Sunday morning service that if they ever need something from God to come to the altar, we'll pick up the slack wherever. Like, don't worry about that, it'll be fine. I prefer they to come down when they feel they need to come down.

Speaker 2: 8:05

So I wasn't sure when it was, but like it was the altar call, because during the worship service. I can't do that, I can't.

Speaker 1: 8:15

I'm just like stuck out there, just flipping yeah, that'll be one thing that everybody would be like, okay, where'd she go? Because the words just don't be the same and then I'm finally.

Speaker 1: 8:26

I mean, I always just like yeah, just blank flight, and then howard, I'm going down to put the little church logo up there like all right, figure it out yourself, people. No, she came down and and the reason I remember this story so strongly and it's imprinted in my mind is because there was a girl that I was seeing when I was I was driving, so it was either 11th maybe 12th, and I went on a missions trip and when I came back from that missions trip I knew that that was the person that I was not supposed to be with and when I broke up with me, even though I knew I was supposed to, like it was a, a spiritual release. It also was a physical loss. Like I really like when I was in a relationship, like I was all in, there was like no, like oh, I kind of like, you kind of don't. Let's just like see what. Like I was all in, like I was one of those and it's kind of stupid and foolish and I know I am, it's fine, but I'm all in, like I fall.

Speaker 1: 9:24

I, when I would be with somebody and they were my girlfriend, like I felt like I loved them, like that I was just all in. I wasn't like a little and let's just I was. I would be like I love this girl, I love this girl. But like seeing my little girl now, even as an infant, how passionate she is, how passionate Tristan is, I'm like I get it. Tristan does the same thing Boy's in the ninth grade and he thinks he loves girls and I'm like, no, you don't, like I'm getting on the end, but I'm also yelling at myself because it was me.

Speaker 1: 10:00

But like when you did that, I'm like man, it's a hard I know how hard that was to actually walk away. No matter, no matter how toxic the relationship actually was, you, you still feel the pain because you're losing something that even in in the not enjoying it, you you're. You're still losing in some senses. Pain because you're losing something that, even in the not enjoying it, you're still losing in some senses. Even though you're gaining so much more, you still feel that loss when you cut that tie. So was that kind of the point where you thought you needed to go through a class?

Speaker 2: 10:26

Kind of yeah, and then it was funny because my mom had wanted to take the class too. Yeah, I remember that we both signed up at the same time and Mimi came up to me and said why don't you go to the next class and sit this one out? Because there's the things your mom doesn't need to know that you know, and there's things you don't know that your mom knows. Let's keep those things separate. Let's get that separate. We don't need you two going at each other's heads in class.

Speaker 1: 11:00

So, when you started the class, what were you thinking in your mind? Did you already think in your mind, okay, this is where I was hurt, so I need to go to this class to find freedom? Or did you discover that while you were walking through the class? Or maybe a little bit of both?

Speaker 2: 11:15

a little bit of both, actually. Yeah, because at the beginning it was like I thought I felt the freedom. I had freedom, I was free from him. I didn't realize there was more than I was like. As I went through the class I realized and I was like, wait, he hurt me like this and he, I'm writing him and the little things you give out and stuff yeah, running between the margins.

Speaker 2: 11:42

and well, this is what he did. He's what he did for me. Are you saying you filled up all bays? No, no, no, no, no. So there's also scripture involved in it too. So I would take a separate sheet of notebook paper and write that scripture out, put it behind, whatever that scripture was in the booklet.

Speaker 1: 12:09

So what is it that? How far were you in the?

Speaker 2: 12:10

class before you begin to feel the change start to fall off of you. Before the freedom class, before the I mean the forgiveness section, before that, yeah, it's before the freedom section so it's kind of more of where you started to actually reckon.

Speaker 1: 12:22

A lot of times that's the key right there is you begin to recognize what the source of your pain is, the source of your hurt, the source of your trauma. A lot of times that's the key right there is you begin to recognize what the source of your pain is, the source of your hurt, the source of your trauma. A lot of people will try to jump all of the discovery part because it's painful to walk through that, they don't want to actually look at it. They don't want to because when you start to examine it, to really examine it, you have to get closer to it Absolutely, and so that right there, nobody wants to do that. They want to cover it up and they want to jump over that and they want to get to the end where I just want to feel better. Well, you pacify instead of actually have progress. And so it was kind of when you started to have that light shine in the dark of your heart yeah that's when you begin to feel the true freedom.

Speaker 1: 12:58

Yeah, now there's a reason why our sweet dear sister stella has two weeks on forgiveness. 10 weeks on forgiveness no, it's two forgiveness. No, it was two weeks. Oh, I was like ten. I was like ten. My goodness, that's probably necessary. You probably could have ten weeks of forgiveness, probably so. So when you got to the forgiveness part, walk us through in the class. How did you address, how did you recognize? How did you attack? By the time you got to the forgiveness part part, were you already aware and prepared to forgive, or was it kind of a both end where you were a little prepared?

Speaker 2: 13:32

you had more digging to do yeah, I was a little prepared and a little more digging to do and during that forgiveness section that I had to stop and dig deep thinking okay, so why do I need to forgive him?

Speaker 1: 13:48

the why is a big?

Speaker 2: 13:49

one, yeah, what? Okay, so there's the why. What specifically? And why specifically do I need to forgive him for this thing that I have, that he did?

Speaker 1: 14:01

so when you so that's in the book, right that you're filling out now, yeah, the why isn't? Was that pretty evident to you, or did you have to really think about it, or did you already know what?

Speaker 2: 14:11

I mean I wasn't, I didn't have too much digging in my brain, but I mean it's kind of the bad. Pray God, help me remember. And okay, starting to scrimmage now that comes back to me. I started scrambling down.

Speaker 1: 14:26

That comes back to me Now a part of the forgiveness is. The tricky part is when either that person has passed away or has moved away. You can't get a hold of them. Is a part of the forgiveness process in this finding freedom class? Is it actually mending the relationship with that person? Or is it more of just you here forgiving and not really worried about them?

Speaker 2: 14:51

forgiveness is about me, it's not about him at all. I forgave him for what he did to me. Whether or not he forgives me for what, whatever he thinks I did to him, I thought I don't know and whatever I did. Whatever he thinks he thought I don't know and whatever I did, whatever he thinks he's an idiot Don't really matter. And whatever he thinks I did to him, I have no idea other than break up with him. Yeah, I mean, I mean the way I broke up with him. I Do not recommend this at all. We broke up over text, but I mean I couldn't have had to.

Speaker 2: 15:26

Yeah, he had no mode of transportation at the time to come on his own. He was relying on his parents or his brother to bring him over, and my grandmother was on the verge of death. So I was like, well, how do I freak out with him? Yeah, and that Sunday, when my parents were out of town, I had no one, no one to contact. I had no one to contact them. I just it's like, well, I have no one to talk to about this.

Speaker 2: 15:58

And then Monday I told my mom about it. Well, I heard that you went up to the altar and you were crying and you were in tears. That sounds just like her, I've been told. I was just like her anyway.

Speaker 1: 16:11

It's true. You can deny it if you wanted to. No.

Speaker 2: 16:16

And you're wanting to make up with Michael. I'm going to get a full shot of that. Hey, I know that is. And you're wanting to make up with Michael? Well, out of the handle, that is. And you're going to break up with michael, like you and I, it was kind of like, well, okay, so let's start. Not, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say scheming, but let's play, let's plan this thing out. Let's plan this thing out, yeah, how we're gonna do it, how you're gonna do it, okay. So the next day, sat down over at my grandparents' house, I did it.

Speaker 1: 16:48

When it was done. When you say plan it out, you mean plan how to break up with them and stuff like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:52

Because I mean.

Speaker 1: 16:54

Was your grandpa shouting and praising God that you were going to?

Speaker 2: 16:58

Yes, yes, he was, he was.

Speaker 1: 17:02

Absolutely. I'm sure you had to. You didn't have to question one time what his opinion was on no, on this young man, no, no, even if I know what his opinion was and I'm not even involved. So you planned it out. So you, so you suggest let's, let's pause for a second. You suggest that if okay, we're talking about relationships and we're doing the broader of forgiveness, but let's, let's focus in a little bit. You're talking about a bad relationship, so a toxic relationship. So you're saying the way you did it and what worked out was to actually sit down, put it, and I suggest, I really suggest this for for any kind of relationship breakup with his friends, whatever. My son has to do the same thing because he has toxic people in his life.

Speaker 1: 17:45

To make, for a lack of a better term an attack plan. That way you, when you put something in writing and it's your own handwriting, it makes it more tangible, where your words aren't just like flowing out of your mouth. You actually you're seeing and believing and putting down what you believe. And that also helps you that when somebody tries to talk you out of it they can't because you you've already declared on paper and made it firm there's something, there's something about right well, we're kind of losing that in this generation, but there's something about writing, putting something on paper, putting your name to it and standing by it. Did you slowly do it? Did you have input from your mom and your stepdad and your grandpa? How did that process go when you were putting it on paper? Or you kind of did it yourself?

Speaker 2: 18:36

I kind of did it myself. I mean, jeff was at work, papa was out doing whatever Papa does Because tending his garden.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Just doing your business.

Speaker 2: 18:47

Tending his garden or Walmart.

Speaker 1: 18:49

There's a mystery to the man.

Speaker 2: 18:50

I mean, whatever he was doing that day. So it was just me and my mom sitting at home with Nonnie, yeah, and you need to break up with him. And here's what you're going to say. And okay, that's what I said. And I told the guy I'm sorry, it's not me, it's you. You said that to him. I really wanted to say him.

Speaker 1: 19:16

He was no. No, I'm not downplaying that. It's good to be honest and not make excuses for somebody else's bad behavior. I think a lot of times we try to show people from oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings, but they don't mind hurting yours all over the place and it's not doing it to hurt their feelings. But a lot of times when you're cutting the cord to your past trauma, you softly cut and you only nick it. You don't truly cut it.

Speaker 2: 19:50

Sometimes you have to hurt some feelings so they don't try to come back. That's what I'm saying. I was talking about it was that you? It's got nothing to do with me. It's you man, it's you. And and then later I'm getting this text message from him. Roth was in the bath. I wrote a song in the bathroom about, but I don't know. I'm thinking while he was pooping, while he was at work. While while he was at work, my new.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Well, and then you texted back. Well, I wrote this while I was taking a no no, no.

Speaker 2: 20:13

And then on, you know, studying the whole thing, I'm like so now, you didn't you?

Speaker 1: 20:18

you said you did break up through text. Yeah, you don't recommend it, I don't, but you way, yes. Now why was the reason for text? Just because you couldn't match up your schedules and be able to be at the same place.

Speaker 2: 20:28

No, it wasn't that. It was because of the lack of transportation. Now, if he had come over being his parents or brother, he would have been over to his place. I want an emotional wreck coming back and that. So it's just.

Speaker 1: 20:49

It worked out better that way yeah, well then that means you put it on paper and then you also put in writing again through text message. So if you ever had any questions, refer back to to the PDF, check the script, bro. Well, I mean that's I don't recommend through text. But sometimes, especially if you know their behaviors and their patterns of the way they try to do things and manipulate, it's better to do that because it does put a distance between where they can't try to talk you out of your decision that you Now, if it's somebody that is not toxic to you but you're just like, yeah, I'm on the fence or whatever, do it in person. But if it's somebody who's like seriously damaging who you are, especially if you're a christian, who you are in christ, shoot them that text message. I mean send them an email I, you got to protect yourself.

Speaker 1: 21:39

At the end of the day, you're responsible, answering to god when you lay your head on your pillow and he's not going to say, well, did you hurt their feelings or did you meet face to face? He's going to say, did you do what you're supposed to do? Bottom line, and you felt you did, even though you said you don't recommend it. But some people who are really good at like, especially on the heartstrings, they can pull you back in very easily. Sometimes you just got to throw the hatchet to cut the soul. Tie from a distance. Yeah, faith and Failures Podcast.