Overcoming Trauma: How Faith Transformed Her Life

How do you transform deep personal pain into a powerful mission of healing and empowerment? This episode's guest, Marquette L. Walker, has done just that. Marquette is an author, minister, and motivational speaker who shares her compelling journey from her early years shaped by the church to her multifaceted roles as a wife, mother, and entrepreneur. We delve into her mission to help women heal and win, addressing the often-overlooked need for ministries focused on divorced or single mothers and aiming to make a positive impact on future generations.

Marquette opens up about the profound lessons learned from navigating multiple marriages and overcoming childhood trauma. She takes us through her path from naivety in her first marriage to finding her "forever husband" after years of personal healing. With honesty and vulnerability, Marquette emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, accountability, and a strong relationship with God as the foundation for all other relationships and life progress. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of personal growth and partnership in building a successful marriage.

We cap off the episode by highlighting the upcoming "Power of We" conference in Lake Junaluska, North Carolina, which aims to cultivate empowerment and family dynamics. Marquette's message of unity and personal development is further extended through her online presence. Don't miss your chance to connect with her via her website and social media platforms for daily encouragement and inspiration. Tune in for an episode filled with wisdom, healing, and hope.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Before we get into today's video, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the new subscribers. If you haven't yet, consider subscribing, hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video. A major portion of you that watch my videos haven't subscribed yet, so why not? It's free. You can also find a PayPal link below if you want to give a one-time or give a monthly to support the channel. Anything, great or small, is appreciated. Now let's get into the video, one of my favorite intros I have done of all time. So thank you so much for joining me today, on this Monday evening. It is a beautiful day, but it said it's about to storm here in East Texas, so we'll see how the weather holds up. Hopefully it does not kill my electricity, because that would be terrible. So today with me I have a special guest, that is, a author, a minister, a empowering speaker for women. Marquette, how are you doing tonight?

Speaker 2: 1:08

I am doing amazing tonight. How are you doing tonight, Steph?

Speaker 1: 1:12

I'm doing great. That's okay. So before we go any further, if you don't mind probably a mix of your audience, my audience just kind of say and tell us who is Marquette Walker. Like, what do you do? What gets you out of the bed every day? What gets you motivated to go do what God has called you to do? Just tell us a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Absolutely. But first and foremost, I would like to honor God first, who's the head of my life? Secondly, I would like you for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing platform. Thank you so much for having me. But who is Barquette L Walker? Well, god has entrusted me with many of hats. I am a wife, I am a mother. I'm a mother of two of my biological kids, young men 29 and 30 years old. One just turned 29 a couple of days ago, and then I am a bonus mom to four. I'm a Gigi to six. So and if anyone does not know what Gigi is, that I am a grandmother but I don't want to say grandmother, I need to say a Gigi, I'm still young.

Speaker 1: 2:21

My mom's the same way.

Speaker 2: 2:24

Yes, yes, don't call me Gigi, don't call me grandma, just yet, give me a little time. Give me a little time.

Speaker 1: 2:30

Well, if it makes you feel better, you don't look like you're a grandmother, so that's a big plus. Right there, your husband's probably saying amen on that.

Speaker 2: 2:39

Well, thank you so much. Thank you so much. What else? I am an entrepreneur. I am a minister. What else do I do? I'm a motivational speaker and I am out here just helping women heal so they can win. That is Marquette L Walker.

Speaker 1: 3:01

So I appreciate you saying that I was talking to my wife. She asked a little bit about you. She's like so who's this lady you're interviewing? So I kind of told her I went and visited at your website. By the way, if you are curious this whole time while you're watching the live stream, ladies and gentlemen, you can go down below in the show notes. Her website is there. You can go after the live stream, go click on it and see what she's all about. Make connections with her, go follow her on all of her social media. We just connected on TikTok I don't know if we have yet on Instagram, but we're going to be networking like crazy and doing it for the kingdom. So, in this space that you are in right now, like I said, I was talking with my wife and there is a great need and, I think, a vast lack of ministering to divorced or single mothers.

Speaker 2: 3:50

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 3:51

It seems like it's kind of been pushed to the wayside. I have a few in our church and I was talking to my wife and I'm like man, this is a good on point ministry. Like you're going to change generations by doing this Like generations. Like you're not just changing the mother's life, you're changing the kid's life. You're changing the way they perceive their mother or even their stepfather. My wife is a stepmother and she's felt that she's filled that role for the last. Uh, let's see, we're almost coming up on 10 years and then now we just had our new baby, last at the of last year. So now she understands what being from you is, but explain. So let's talk about your, let's go back to kind of the beginning. What was it in your earlier faith experience and your upbringing that led you to this type of ministry? Was there something that happened before or was it kind of in your adult life it happened?

Speaker 2: 4:47

No, actually. So I'm glad you asked that question, which is such a good question. I was born and raised in the church, so that's all I knew. You came out and I was in church, right, and as I was growing up, I have a mom and my dad. They were married for about 18 years. But as I grew up in the church, I saw as a young girl and you know, girls they start planning weddings when they're like seven and eight years old Awesomely, they seem so happy and loving and all I can say as a young girl is that's going to be me one day. That's what I want to be like. I want to be happily married. But no one told me, no one told me the stuff that goes on behind the scenes. You know you got to fertilize your grass, you got to till it up as well, right.

Speaker 2: 5:47

And you have to cultivate your marriage in order for it to work. But no one told me that. So I was so in love with the idea of marriage. And you know what the thing is. Churches are not talking about this. This is taboo. They're not. They're straying away from or staying away from it because it's just something that they don't want to deal with. But this is needed in the church. Do you know? I was looking at the divorce rate and how in the church, we have the highest divorce rate, which should not be Really, Because marriage yes, marriage is god's playing field yeah this is god's playing field.

Speaker 2: 6:28

Look, this is god's playing field. Why is our divorce rate so high in the church? Right, because no one is talking about the issues that come along with it. But that is what framed this as I was growing up. Growing up and I'm like, okay, okay, I'm going to do this. So 1995 came um, I married my kid's father. I did a little backwards, y'all. Some of us do it backwards.

Speaker 2: 6:51

I am a kid's person who got married. Right, you know it's all a jacked up, but anyway trying to get it together. And so 95 came. I'm not knowing the ins and outs of marriage. I was just in love with the idea of all these happy marriages in church. Right, but that's not the case. Half of the marriages in church, the men or the women they're putting on that happy face or that church face. And they could have been, just they had a big old argument in the car before they got in the church.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Right.

Speaker 2: 7:19

And I never saw that Right. And so now that's marriage one, that's one. So now that ended up in a divorce, I still have not learned and I'm still holding on to that idea of I'm going to have me a happy marriage Right, that's what I saw and that's what it's going to be, not knowing you have to put in the work for that. So now we're on marriage number two.

Speaker 2: 7:42

Now in the whole process of this did anybody try to speak into your life and say anything at all? No one, and that's why that's one of the things that I want to help out. We'll talk about that later on. I have that down. Is that? That was? That was that was the problem. And so now I'm on two, now three, but now I'm dealing with grief and let me back up a little bit.

Speaker 2: 8:07

So, going into these marriages I want to let you know is that my mom and my dad got a divorce. I was 11 years old. 11 years old. They got a divorce and all I can see is the hurt, the rejection, the pain my mom felt, and I internalize that. So that's that childhood trauma. I'm carrying that with me. So now I'm married, so now I'm going into a marriage. Mind you, I got the backpack of childhood trauma with me. I got my backpack on, but I got childhood trauma with me, and so I'm carrying that in one, carrying that in two, because I still have not been delivered from that childhood trauma or got healed from the childhood trauma.

Speaker 2: 8:51

Now we're going into three. My mother passed away. Now I have a brief that I unpacked into my backpack with my trauma, still have not been, still have not dealt with any of that. And then, at this point though at this point is when God he started to give me some downfalls, but still not knowing what to do with them, yet still not understanding it, but still at no point no one in church said you know what, baby girl, let's talk about this. You're on marriage number two, or even before I got to marriage number two, hey, let's have a conversation, let's see how we can help you out with that. But, like I stated earlier, we're not talking about this in church or corporate any of that. So we have all these divorces going on.

Speaker 1: 9:37

I think a big problem in the church is that the only time we get involved in somebody's business is if we're talking about it. We're gossiping.

Speaker 2: 9:46

Could you say that again?

Speaker 1: 9:48

The only time we get involved in each other's business is when we decide to talk about it to somebody else Gossiping, gossiping, right. How many times could somebody have not went through what they went through? If only somebody who saw something actually said, hey, here's what I see, and just start asking questions. Most of the time, if you start asking questions, they'll start answering out of their own mouth and realizing what they're saying.

Speaker 2: 10:12

Absolutely. You're absolutely right, and you know what. It's so funny that you say that? Because I had to deal with the shame. You know why? Because people were talking about me instead of helping me. How many marriages is she on? Well, I think it's the second, or I'm not sure. It's so many of them I can't even count. Or she can get them, but she can't keep them. Or how is it that she got this many? How is it that she got this many? I can't even get one. You know, I had to deal with that shame of people talking about it instead of, you know, pulling me to the side saying let's talk.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Let me ask you this when you when you know, I mean you can tell when you walk in a room and somebody saying something they shouldn't especially if it's about you everybody shuts up and all of them look. Well, when you were at this church in this whole time, did you stay in that same church or did you move churches because of the shame and you didn't want to confront that every Sunday?

Speaker 2: 11:15

I moved churches. I changed churches and I'm going to tell you I think it was a different husband each time. Um, I bet I went. Every time I went to a different church I got another one. But, um, let me tell you it's so funny and I tell people sorry I tell them.

Speaker 2: 11:37

No, I tell them um, I laugh at it now, but back then I'm like can somebody here to help me out? Let's talk about this Now. You, you traded on number three. What was the problem? And not three. And I'm going to tell you now. When I got to number three, I had to start naming these marriages. I had so many of them. So number one was, um, just naive, I just didn't know. Naive, right?

Speaker 2: 12:03

that's fair then we're going into marriage number two. That one was shame on me. My mother told me no, you got the same man in a different body, the same man. So that's where that familiar spirit comes from right. And so that was on me, because I should have listened, I could have saved that one. Now we're going on to number three. I said what was I thinking Right? So I lost my mom before the third one. Now, if my mother was Stephen, I'm going to tell you that would have never happened. She was like, oh, absolutely not Right. And so when I woke up out of all of that and went through my grieving process, I woke up and I was like what was I thinking?

Speaker 2: 12:43

This is definitely not it. This is not it. And so I'm very short-lived. And then, at this point, stephen, I said all right, oh, let me back up this is what the light bulb went. So my all right, oh, let me back up this is what the light bulb went. So my dad that's so funny. Now, remember, my dad divorced my mom. So I'm already, I'm I'm upset with him. Yeah, I'm feeling some kind of way right. And so I got to a place that I did not forgive him. I, you know, I won't have nothing to do with you. You heard my mother. So my dad, I invited him to the third, the fourth one, and he said OK, I know, marriages have their ups and downs. I'll give you the first one, I'll even give you the second one, but by the time you get to three, there's got to be something wrong with you. So at this point I was like Steve, I said the nerve, the nerve for you to say that you divorced my mom, the nerve.

Speaker 2: 13:42

But, the thing is, yeah, I remember. I remember the scripture that said honor thy father and thy mother that your days may be long on the earth. Let me tell you, stephen, I saw my days dwindling down. I called my dad and I had to tell him about himself. I had to hurry up and call him back and ask for forgiveness.

Speaker 2: 14:05

Now, mind you, when I say hurry up, it wasn't the next day, it wasn't the next week, it wasn't even the next month, I think it was a couple months. But I had to call him back and ask for forgiveness because what my dad had and what he did to my mom, that was between him and God. That was not between me and my dad, right? So I asked for forgiveness. And then that's when God started to show me and give me some downloads and say, okay, I'm trying to show you your childhood trauma. The shame is all trying to catch up with you, but you're steadily running away when it's trying to get you to a place to heal. So I'm bleeding in every single marriage I'm bleeding, bleeding on folks, because I'm hurting, I'm carrying all this stuff with me and have not healed from it.

Speaker 2: 14:56

So I took six years off. I did not date, I didn't talk to anyone. Oh, and they came for me, but I would say, nope, I don't want to talk to you. They was like well, we can just be friends. Nope, I don't want to be your friend. You can have my number. Nope, I don't want your number. I have a friend in Jesus.

Speaker 2: 15:20

That's all I need. So I did that for like six years. Nope, you can't date me, I'll date myself. And so it was me and God. I dated God for six years and people say well, what is that? What does that mean? What does that look like? I meditated, I prayed, I fasted, I journaled, I was in the word. I just really was intentional about my relationship with God. Then, here come number four, now this one. I named this one, I thought I had it because I thought I did it the right way, I did it God's way. But I still have one that was a little jacked up a little bit, and so, and also, I didn't. I didn't have any accountability either. So I didn't have any grace, I didn't have any patience, I didn't have any forgiveness.

Speaker 1: 15:56

That is a big one, accountability. But that's on both sides One person who's willing to say something when they see somebody stepping out of line, and the other is receiving it and being able to wear it as wisdom, instead of harboring those feelings and allowing it to be church hurt when it's actually gleaning wisdom.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Absolutely, absolutely. So I recognize that I had to hold myself accountable in all of this. That's when I realized I am believing in every relationship, carrying trauma, carrying shame, carrying guilt, carrying fear, mistrust all this stuff I'm carrying in every relationship. And so, for thought, I had it. It was a little messed up, very short lived, and then I was back to the drum, back at the well. I used to call myself the woman at the well. You know she was married five times. I am that woman at the well Right.

Speaker 2: 16:50

So God met me back at the well and I tell people no matter what you go through, god is still there waiting on you, waiting on you. So he met me back at the well and blessed me with my forever husband right now. He's awesome. He's amazing. We love to let people know, even though you have ups and downs, you can still make it through and your marriage can still be successful. And we've been teaming up doing this thing. He's been managing all of this. So I want to tell you, steven, that's who's been sending you the emails. It was Gabe. It wasn't me, it was Gabe.

Speaker 1: 17:25

That's awesome. That's awesome. Hey, it's a team effort. It really is. To make it work, both sides have to be a hundred percent. It's not a 50, 50, it's a 100%, 100%. So, kind of leading into the next, the next question so what was what was something? Uh, we're talking about impact of personal struggles, but what was something that you use now, uh, to minister to women? Now, do you also minister to men of divorce, or just the women, everybody?

Speaker 2: 17:53

everybody. You know what I didn't realize until after I first started telling my story that so many people have been through the same thing that I'm going through. And then I spoke at a conference and I had men coming up to me saying I've been married five times or four times, or three times. I'm like wow. So it's not just women, it's men, and they also. They're looking for help. How can you help me through this process? How can I not make the same mistake again? And your question was how am I helping people?

Speaker 1: 18:31

Yeah, kind of what, some key things that you learned along the way in in your marriages and divorces. Like what is it that that is fueling your wisdom to other people? Like what, what have you learned and what have you walked through to get to that place?

Speaker 2: 18:48

let me tell you, the main thing is accountability. I've learned to meet people where they are, because everyone is at a different level. Somebody might not be where I am, or they could be where I am, but we have to meet people where they are. But most importantly is accountability when you can hold yourself accountable for some of the things that you go through. That is step number one, because if you cannot find the accountability in any of this, we got some issues going on. We got some issues.

Speaker 1: 19:23

All right, so let's discuss your winning women, the initiatives, its goals, maybe some success stories of women who have been empowered through this program. Tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 2: 19:43

Yeah, so with winning women, that is my main thing, and what that is is because I was focused on women, because I thought about myself, and so I was focused on women, but then extended it to men, um as well. So eventually we'll change the name, I guess. But, um, what has fueled that is I want people to heal, I want women to heal, I want men to heal, um, and that's what has fueled that, because I know I've went years hurting um, bleeding, and so that's what fueled that. Winning women, that was the start of it. And then the next thing is I want people. The things that I've learned is I had to forgive. You have got to forgive.

Speaker 1: 20:20

Come on, that's a good one.

Speaker 2: 20:24

Yeah, if you cannot forgive, you cannot move forward. That will hold you stagnant where you are, and I know we serve a god of elevation and not stagnation, and so the enemy wants to hold us stagnant where we are. A lot of people won't heal and can't move forward because they won't forgive, and so that's another before we go on, because this is this is very important.

Speaker 1: 20:50

This is probably, uh, from from what I've seen, uh, healing cannot happen unless forgiveness comes first. Amen, how, how do you walk somebody through that? Maybe it's a woman, maybe it's a man, whatever they've been hurt, I'm a man of divorce. Like my first marriage, I learned everything that is now making my second marriage perfect. Like I went. I only learned the lesson once, but I learned it hard the first time, cause that's how I remember, like, what are some tactics, what are some key points to help someone right now, who says oh wait, but you don't know what they've done to me.

Speaker 1: 21:30

You don't know what they did. You don't know what they put me through. There's no way that I can forgive them. I don't have to forgive them when actually the word of God says, yes, you do.

Speaker 2: 21:40

Absolutely. And you know what? And that's what I say is what does the word of God says? The word of God tells us that we have to forgive, right and in order. And, like you said, in order for us to move forward which was myself I cannot move forward until I forgave my father. That's where it started.

Speaker 2: 21:56

So I tell people, you have got to start with self. Number one is first, once you know who you are that's another big issue. We don't know who we are. We're still trying to figure out who we are and once we understand who we are, whose we are and how God loves us, it's easy for us to forgive, because now we understand who God is to us. Look at all the stuff that we do and God still forgive us. He forgave us.

Speaker 2: 22:24

And I tell people look back over your life and look where you are right now. How do you think you got to this place? And that's where that grace comes in. We have to be able to have grace, we have to be able to have patience. Everyone is on a different. Everyone has a journey to walk, Everyone has to go on a journey. But until you know who you are and whose you are, then you will be able to allow God. You let God show you who you are, then you allow him to come in. You can't help, but when you have God on the inside, you can't help but to forgive.

Speaker 1: 22:57

That's right. I've seen time and time again people they define themselves by their mess ups. They define themselves by their hang ups, their issues, their sin. They define themselves by their relationships. They think if, if I'm married to this type of person, then now I have value. If I'm married to this type of person, then now I have value. If I'm married to this type of person, well, now I can be successful, now I can do what I'm wanting to do in life. Now I can move forward and forgive that last relationship. If I just have that next person and really, like you said, you dated God for six years, it takes you getting real with God and realizing that God is all that you need, and then he will supply. Then he will supply beyond.

Speaker 2: 23:34

That's it. That is it. Right there, you have set a mouthful when you understand that God is all you need and he's going to supply the rest of it. But first of all, he got to know that he is all he needs to you. He is your number one, he is your focus and that's the thing I tell people. If you start somewhere building that relationship with God, that's your first and foremost, that's your priority right there. If you can get to a place to build that relationship, then you can go anywhere after that.

Speaker 1: 24:05

Yeah, even Jesus said hate your mother, hate your father. He wasn't saying to actually hate people, but he was saying you should love God so much that it looks like you hate everybody else. That should be your priority. I love my wife. She is my best friend. I love that little baby girl on there Sorry if y'all hear her in the background. She's only seven months old. She's screaming and crying. She wants to be healed all the time, but they come second to God, absolutely. Now you got a conference coming up, right, I do. Power of we. So that's we right? Yeah, power of we 2024. Where is it? What's the theme? Uh, what are you expecting to happen at this conference?

Speaker 2: 24:49

absolutely so. It is the power of weed, and let me explain it, because people see weed, they see women, empowerment, but this is the power of weed winning everyone, because we want to cultivate everyone. It will be in Lake Junaluska, north Carolina. It is 25 miles outside of Asheville, north Carolina, so up there in the mountains, very pretty. In the fall it will be October 11th through the 13th.

Speaker 1: 25:18

That's my birthday. Really it really is. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2: 25:23

That's my birthday. Well, happy early birthday.

Speaker 1: 25:28

I'm glad y'all are putting something together to celebrate it. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 25:31

Come on, you know what, then we'll all, absolutely, we're going to celebrate your birthday for you Right at the conference.

Speaker 1: 25:39

Come on to the conference and we'll celebrate you too, I love it, but yes, so it is built off of family dynamic.

Speaker 2: 25:47

We want everyone Because you know, women are always being empowered. They go to all of these women conferences. You don't hear a lot of um men conferences. I know they're out there, but you don't hear a lot of them that's because men don't need any help, right?

Speaker 1: 25:59

they're so strong, they never have to solve, they don't have to think about their problems, they just, they just, oh, we'll be okay. And then we end up with mental health issues there you go, there you.

Speaker 2: 26:09

So we are attacking the family dynamic. We want everyone. We want the husband, we want the wives, we want the children there, and we'll have stuff for everyone. We have workshops for the men, we have workshops for the women.

Speaker 2: 26:23

So, everyone have a safe space and then we can also come together and worship God. So Friday night will be a night of worship and our opening night, and then Saturday morning will be some breakout sessions, workshops, and then Saturday night will be a gala so we can come in with our nice attire one more attire. Then Sunday will be our closeout service. We'll have another awesome time in God praise and worship time.

Speaker 1: 26:52

What we just talked about her 2024 power of wheat. All the information, all of her contact information If you ever need to reach out to her. If you are someone suffering, if you are a divorcee or divorcee and you don't know what to do, you don't know how to handle the pain. It's real pain. It's comparable as suffering a loss in your family. It really is, and especially if you've been married a while. My parents were divorced after 30 years of marriage and so it was a big deal. They're still sometimes living in the echo of that pain because there was a separation when God united something. So make sure, down in the show notes, click the link. It's her website. Go to it, reach out to her, follow her on all social media platforms.

Speaker 1: 27:37

Marquette, thank you so much for joining me tonight. Thank y'all for joining the live stream. If you haven't yet, please give a thumbs up to this video. Also, make sure you subscribe. Go to Facebook, go to Instagram, tiktok to see daily reels and weekly videos. Make sure, on YouTube, you hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video. Thank you all so much and I hope that you all have an amazing rest of your night.