They Had To Run And Hide To Not Be Killed Part 2

There are moments that define our childhood, shaping the adults we become—the smell of grandpa's cologne, the stern yet loving critique of a crafted art piece, and the bittersweet lessons learned through family struggles. In our latest episode, we engage in a poignant exploration of such defining moments. We recount tales of a grandfather with the reflexes of a cowboy and how a child's imagination can turn a simple rug into a racetrack. Yet, it's not all nostalgia; we also share the deeply personal and often hidden struggles of inner-city children, reflecting on the importance of separating actions from the individuals we love and the crucial role of forgiveness on the path to healing.

Have you ever wondered how the weight of unseen burdens shapes our journey through life? We dig deep into the raw and emotional narratives of enduring love in the face of adversity, revealing the power of sharing one's story for mental and emotional support. From confronting the shadows of domestic violence to embracing the warmth of cherished family memories, this episode is a heartfelt testament to the resiliency of the human spirit. Join us as we unravel how these childhood experiences cement a foundation of compassion and understanding, crucial for navigating the complexities of relationships and the unpredictable nature of loss.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Before we get into today's video, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the new subscribers. If you haven't yet, consider subscribing, hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video. A major portion of you that watch my videos haven't subscribed yet, so why not? It's free. You can also find a PayPal link below if you want to give a one-time or give a monthly to support the channel. Anything, great or small, is appreciated. Now let's get into the video. So what? When did it start? Because I knew him as the cowboy-esque guy that's out on a flat bottom boat on that. Is that the same pond you're talking about? That I know about. Okay.

Speaker 2: 0:48

He was a big man. I mean his hands were huge. He wore a 13 triple E shoe. He was a big guy.

Speaker 1: 0:54

I remember him pulling a I think it was a revolver from his hip to shoot a snake that was on the bank and he didn't warn her nothing. And I'm like like, oh my god. And then I see this snake explode on the bank and I'm like, well, chuck norris, who you know, I mean, that's what I was thinking. But then we do kids crusades and for some of you, who you don't know what a kids crusade is, it's, it's kind of a thing of the past a little bit, but it was more of a you you kind of is a children's revival yeah, puppets and everything.

Speaker 1: 1:27

I used to help my parents with that kind of stuff very cool to to do all that. But she would always tell this story, and now of god's forgiveness and redemption. So it was weird because I knew my grandpa and but you didn't know him. I did, I've never, I could not see it, even though you would tell the story, you would tear up, you would cry. You know this was an altar call to these kids because a lot of inner city kids I remember specifically one I think it was in Kansas City and you know people had the same story. But, like you said, people, kids, are resilient and and you'll never know what they're going through. You didn't have friends over. No, I couldn't. You didn't go anywhere.

Speaker 2: 2:09

But the kids that I went to high school with had no idea. Matter of fact, my senior year, when we were getting ready to graduate, they were looking for a pastor to come and do the baccalaureate thing service we had at the time. They wanted to know if my dad could come. I'm like, like what? And they said, well, isn't your dad a preacher? And I'm like, where in the world have you been my whole life? No, my dad's not a preacher wow, they had no idea.

Speaker 2: 2:35

They had no idea. I was the one who got straight a's. I was the one that never got in trouble. I was the I wouldn't, I won't say perfect child, but I strived to be that perfect child because I didn't want to make my dad mad.

Speaker 1: 2:48

Yeah, for all the wrong reasons you were there.

Speaker 2: 2:50

Exactly, I tried to excel in basketball, which I never was great with, but I went to state competition in singing and things. I wanted to make them proud.

Speaker 1: 3:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:02

I don't think I ever succeeded in that, but I tried so hard to make them proud of who I was. But when I was already out of school, I was 19, and we had a really bad weekend, my dad had another one of those episodes and he beat my mom to a pulp, literally. He kicked her, he beat her until she was having convulsions and we couldn't get her back to reality. She just she was out of it. She was having seizures, she was having, she had blood coming from her eyes, her ears, she was bleeding everywhere. She had kicked her in the ribs with his boots.

Speaker 2: 3:44

She was in really bad shape and we finally I convinced him to get her in the car and take her to the hospital, and so we did. When she finally gained consciousness at the hospital, they asked her what happened and she told them that she fell down a flight of stairs. They knew that was a lie. The bruises and things and all the things that was going on with her had nothing to do with anybody who ever fell down a flight of stairs it had to be the longest flight of stairs in the history exactly because he beat her and then he would beat on me and then he'd go back and beat her.

Speaker 2: 4:13

But I would rather him beat on me because she I thought she was dying and she almost did so.

Speaker 1: 4:17

You are in this whole process, or did it escalate? You are getting beat too. Yes, yes, and nobody ever asked what was going on, why you went to school, or would you miss school until you healed up, or how did that work?

Speaker 2: 4:27

I just covered it all up. Just cover it up. You, you don't want any. If you're in that lifestyle, that situation, you don't want anybody to know it's, it's a shameful thing you don't want, you don't want anybody to know yeah and you know, even through, through it all, I I left my parents.

Speaker 2: 4:43

Now there were. There was a time that I would have almost killed him myself, because there was a time that I came to really hate him. But I had to learn as a Christian that you have to separate the person from the sin, and sometimes that's really a tough thing to do and the sin, and sometimes that's really a tough thing to do.

Speaker 2: 5:04

But even as a young person I had to learn, because I knew if I didn't pray for him, nobody else was. So I had to learn to separate that and that. This was my daddy, but this was the demon that made him what he was. That I didn't love, but it wasn't him as a person. But after my mom was in the hospital for a couple weeks and they asked her several times what happened to her and she never would they. She had to file something against him if they were going to arrest him or whatever, and she would not.

Speaker 1: 5:32

she would not have that did the cops ever get involved? Anybody ever mentioned to the cops or they ever show up and ask questions.

Speaker 2: 5:38

Nope, no nope, but you know that was a whole different day than it is now. I'm sure they would now, but they didn't then. But you know my dad had told me several times thank you, we'll be at church, we'll be at church. And I'm like, yeah right, and they would never show up. But a week or so after she was home from the hospital, I got up and went to church and my dad said again oh yeah, we'll come. And I went to church and my dad said again, oh yeah, we'll come. And I'm like, yeah, right, but that Sunday morning Now this is close, following after that severe.

Speaker 2: 6:10

Just a few weeks after she gets out of the hospital yes.

Speaker 2: 6:14

Between Sunday school and church there was double doors that came into the sanctuary and I remember hearing the double doors open and I've heard them open thousands of times and look to see who it was. And it was never them. But that morning it was my mom and dad that walked through those double doors and they sit on the back pew. And they came down to the altar during the altar service and gave their heart to the Lord and he quit cold turkey. He quit drinking. Never seen anything like it in my whole life. But overnight, completely different person Got rid of everything he had stored in the house or the shop and everything it was all gone.

Speaker 2: 6:54

One of the greatest memories I have is coming home from work, walking into the house, and I see my mom and my dad patching those holes in the walls together. And there were never holes in those walls again. It was something that was never discussed. After it I wanted to ask a million questions, but you tread lightly sometimes because you don't want to cause a problem. If everything's going good, you want to keep your mouth shut. So I just always did. I never asked all those questions of why that even started or why this or why that. You know, and I had begged my mom a thousand times through the years to leave, but she said where would we go? She said we have no place to go. Where would we go?

Speaker 1: 7:35

Now, so she wasn't working or anything? No, not until my junior year when she drove the school bus.

Speaker 2: 7:41

She really didn't have an education and she had some health issues through the years and so she had never besides the curb market that that little store we had had years ago when I was little, she, she didn't work outside the home so she kind of I mean for her family was, for lack of a better word, trapped in whatever as as so many, so many are yes, yeah, so how hard was it for you.

Speaker 1: 8:06

I can't even imagine like I've been done you know I've been done wrong and to pray for somebody who's done that that was.

Speaker 2: 8:13

That had to be a god thing. That definitely was not a kim thing. But I just you know, I would talk to my pastor's wife and she would say, kim, you need to pray for him. And, like I said a while ago, I came to the place that I felt like if I didn't pray for him, who else would? Because at that point, who loved him? Nobody, or what he was doing, he was a monster. But it took a long time to build that trust back and I learned that forgiveness was a choice. I could harbor that hatred that I had for him. It wouldn't hurt him, it was hurting me.

Speaker 1: 8:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 8:53

So I chose Do you forgive him? And we never talked about those things. Those things were never discussed again. It was like it was in a completely different life and we moved on.

Speaker 1: 9:02

I guess technically it was so. When that happened and he started changing and being who he needed to be as a father and a husband, how old were you at the time? Were you an adult? Yet I was 19. You were 19? Yeah, okay, yeah, you said. When they went to the hospital you were 19. So you said a few weeks later yep, but it was never talked about again nope, it never was.

Speaker 2: 9:25

As far as I know, they never talked about it again. You know, husbands and wife occasionally have disagreements or whatever. So I'll be honest. The first, first little bit I'm like okay here we go again, here we go again, but it it didn't. It didn't escalate that way, the alcohol wasn't involved and they were able to deal with it as adults with common sense yeah you know. So that was.

Speaker 2: 9:46

That was the only change that was made is when they went to that altar that sunday morning, it completely changed him that's awesome but that's why you never saw your grandfather that way and I never wanted to give him a grandkid that would see him like that. I didn't want my kids to think their grandparents were monsters, and she never locked herself in a room and smoked again. That was the end of that.

Speaker 1: 10:08

What's funny is, growing up as a kid, my grandmother to me was the one that was the mean one, because I doubt I still have it after all the moves and the stuff. But I had this thing that I kept it was. It was, it was kind of rectangle shaped. There were two puppies squatted down like this and I think he he would do woodwork in the shop, she would paint it. So they made that was the first time I ever seen those guns where you put the, yeah, the, the clothes pin and you put rubber bands on the end of them. You shoot them. Well, they made those and they would take them to the crafts and craft shows.

Speaker 2: 10:47

Yes, they never. They never did anything like that until years after.

Speaker 1: 10:51

Yeah really yeah. So that's, that's the kind of stuff I knew, and so I wanted to help with the painting and I painted it and my grandmother told me it looked like crap and she was like we can't sell that. Try again. So that's that's how I remember. Her was more of the stern one, and he was the one that he would drink his iced tea with a little pinky out, stuff like that. You sit like grandpa and you, and I think his pinky wouldn't close, though yeah, no, it wouldn't. So I thought it was just fancy and it was really his hand wouldn't close. What was it that happened?

Speaker 2: 11:22

to his hand. Do you even know something from the military? But I don't know.

Speaker 1: 11:25

It had always been that way but he'd drink his iced tea with his pinky out like this, and he'd drink it and I'd I'd sit next to him and I remember I I got some ticks out there. They had geese and when I'm seven, eight years old and I'm standing looking at a goose and it's looking me in the face, hissing, it's one of the scariest things ever. So my grandma told me to stay away from them and little lizards, the, the little that is. Her not husband, her brothers, two girls would take little lizards and make them go like that and clamp to their ears and they wear them around like little earrings. And I was the one I don't want to touch a lizard, but that's what I remember. I didn't realize that was actually the same house, yep, where all that stuff happened, which is crazy, like to me. I would be the one one to move after all that just to get a fresh start, not look in the house and see those memories. But I guess, if you're patching things up, they patched and they painted and you could.

Speaker 2: 12:19

There was no evidence of anything like that left there was a rug that they had.

Speaker 1: 12:24

I think it was blue and it was oblong and it was curved, though at the end, well, it was thick all the way around and I would put my little cars on there and it was a racetrack. I remember that. And then grandma wake me up you need to go TT, that's what she would always call it. But so, closing thoughts, you obviously know from experience that somebody could be going through this right now. They may be watching this and nobody have a clue, nobody be able to see them, nobody even knows how to pray or to pray for them, because they don't know what's going on Exactly. So what would be your closing thoughts to somebody who is in that world right now? And that's your camera right there if you want to talk to them specifically.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Find somebody that you can trust and confide in them. It's a heavy, heavy burden to share alone, and one that can really take you down and do major damage to you emotionally, mentally. You need to share it with somebody, don't none of us are made to be an island alone. Find a pastor, a pastor's wife, someone that you can trust and talk to and that can help you pray and get through it. Don't try to do it yourself.

Speaker 1: 13:46

Oftentimes things like that we try to it will shame, embarrassment, exactly yes, that will, or even pride, keep you from opening up and talking to somebody.

Speaker 2: 13:58

And realize that it's not the person, that it's the sin that has attached itself to that person that makes them that way. It's not the person, even when you were going through all of your things. You probably don't even remember, but I would come into your room every morning and I would sit on the side of your bed and I would say Stephen, let's get up today, let's do so-and-so. And I remember one on the side of your bed and I would say Stephen, let's get up today, let's do so and so. And I remember one morning you pulling the covers down and you looking at me and saying why do I want to get up? I don't even want to live.

Speaker 2: 14:27

But I would tell you every morning, somewhere in this person laying here is the child that I raised and I will not give up on you. I didn't like the things you were doing, didn't like the things you were doing, didn't like the people you were doing them with. But I refused to give up on you. I stomped my foot in the devil's face and said I will not give up on my child. But I had done the same thing with my dad. I would not give up on my dad, but you have to separate that sin that's causing those actions from the person that you love, and remember that somewhere inside of there is still that person and that's what I would tell you. Somewhere inside of you, somewhere inside of the person I'm seeing right now, is a child I raised and I will not give up on you. I will not Stuck my feet in that mud and said, nope, not doing this.

Speaker 1: 15:19

Well, I guess her mission today was to try to get me to cry.

Speaker 2: 15:21

You need to walk three nights, but I'm very thankful that I didn't give up on my dad. Matter of fact, when my dad passed away, he was watching you and your brother at our house in Missouri because your dad and I had gone on a mission trip to Russia.

Speaker 1: 15:36

I remember that, yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:38

And the morning that our flight was due back in, he had a massive heart attack and passed away at the house. My mother had a massive heart attack. Your grandma had a massive heart attack, or had a heart attack trying to revive him. But she had enough sense about her to remember a lady's phone number in the church, and so she called her for help, and so they were able to get the ambulances there. By the time they they got there, your debt, my, my dad had already passed away, but they took grandma to the hospital and some of the church people came and got you and we were home two or three days before. I even knew where you were, you and your brother, because I was just jet lagged from flying 23 hours traveling back from from moscow and all the, and then because grandma and grandpa were supposed to meet us at the airport and they weren't there. There was a couple from the church there.

Speaker 1: 16:24

Yeah, I remember the day I got picked up.

Speaker 2: 16:26

And I thought, when we were flying into Kansas City and the plane banked to get ready to come down for the landing, I looked at your dad and I said something's wrong. He said how do you know? And I said something's wrong. He said how do you know? And I said I don't know, but something's not right. So in our minds, of course, we thought it was something at the church. And then we got off the plane and Ron and John met us instead of mom and daddy, and then they wanted to take us into a private room and talk to us, and that's when they told me that their grandpa had passed away and that mom was in intensive care because she had a heart attack, trying to revive him, didn't she?

Speaker 1: 17:00

Yes, yeah, yep, yeah, I got picked up and on the way to, I think it was, was it Stewart?

Speaker 2: 17:09

Yeah, carolyn and Jesse Stewart yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:11

I think it was their daughter that picked me up. I don't remember her name.

Speaker 1: 17:14

It's been too long, I can't remember yeah but she was trying to explain to me in a way, because we went past that road that was up on the hill. Our neighborhood was down here on Pickle Avenue, the road that was up on the hill you can see down into there. And I remember seeing I'm like that's because it had that road you could turn in. It was a real sharp curve and then you take a right onto the street, yeah, and I knew enough to like that's our neighborhood, why are we passing it? And so she didn't want to lie, but she didn't know how to explain it to me. She's like where's your grandpa? Something's happened? And he's kind of explaining to a I don't know how old I was eight, nine or was I older than that.

Speaker 2: 17:51

No, you weren't that old.

Speaker 1: 17:53

Because Jonathan wasn't in school.

Speaker 2: 17:54

He wasn't in school, yet.

Speaker 1: 17:55

He was there when all this happened he said he saw it like he remembers him grabbing his chest he was afraid for for me to go back to the house, but thought he got.

Speaker 2: 18:02

He thought the house hurt them and he thought it was going to hurt me as well yeah, he's not so smart well he was little oh, yeah, yeah you were a genius, maybe maybe seven, seven or eight it sounds right.

Speaker 1: 18:14

yeah, yeah, there's kindergarten or first grade, something like that in a in his second. Yeah, but all because.

Speaker 2: 18:20

But he had seen his doctor the week before he came up. He was doing physical and years prior to that he had had five bypasses done on his heart Five. Well, when you drink like he did and do the things he did, it wreaks havoc on your body.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Yeah, I guess he's earned it.

Speaker 2: 18:38

But he and grandma came up to watch you guys so we could, we could go. And he had that heart attack. And then we arranged everything for his funeral in arkansas and mom was still in intensive care and the doctor asked me. He said well. He said what are we going to do? And I said well, I'm, I'm, I've got my dad's funeral already scheduled. They, we took his.

Speaker 2: 19:02

They took his body from missouri back to arkansas and he said well, he said I'm afraid if I keep her he should have our attack. And he said I'm afraid if I don't let her go to her husband's funeral she's going to have a heart attack. And he said so what do you want to do? And I said let's leave it up to her. And she wanted to go. And he said do you know how to use paddles If you have a heart attack? And I said yeah, I do, because I'd worked on medical field for a while. And so he sent us with a set of paddles and got her there the night of visitation, had the funeral the next day and the next day I had her back at Baptist Medical Center and she was having heart surgery.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Pretty eventful trip all around.

Speaker 2: 19:39

It was very stressful, Very stressful. But you know, I know where he's at.

Speaker 1: 19:46

Yeah, all because you decided to pray for him.

Speaker 2: 19:48

I know it wasn't easy, but from those years and watching him and my mom with you and your brother and all, most of those things faded. Okay, occasionally something will bring it trigger kind of yeah yeah, it does, but I know I'll see him again one day. Yeah, and I'm so thankful I didn't give up on him, just like you.

Speaker 1: 20:09

I'm glad I didn't give up on you either hopefully that's all the fun we're gonna have in our lives and everything else is gonna be just fine. But thank you for coming on and sharing your story and for those of you who may be watching this later and you have commented saying that God doesn't exist. When I get the chance again, I didn't know if we were going to have time to do it today or not. We're not going to today, but to tell your healing story.

Speaker 2: 20:38

Oh, you mean of being fully healed of a disease that was supposed to have killed me? Yep, that one.

Speaker 1: 20:44

That one Because the comment section on a particular video that talks a little bit about healing or no, just saying that God isn't real. And I said well, if you want to go strictly miracles, I got two parents that were completely healed from things that you can't get healed from, and my mother's now a certified scuba diver when she needed oxygen just to do laundry. You ain't tell them. And then of course, they had some words about that and didn't believe that anyway. So I said well, you know what?

Speaker 2: 21:11

At 40 years old, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness Sick, sick, sick. At 50 years old I cold turkey, all my medication, all my oxygen, all my stuff, and uh was completely healed. I have no signs of of any of that left and, as I said earlier, I'm gonna be 64 here in a couple months. So I just do what I want. Well, gave my, gave my disability back she's always done what she wanted. No, gave my social security disability back and went back to work with a new career.

Speaker 1: 21:40

And now which several episodes ago.

Speaker 2: 21:43

Helped you with your career.

Speaker 1: 21:45

Yep. Several episodes ago I showed a little commercial I shot for her up in Branson, missouri. I'll show it again. So if you ever need any real estate needs moving to Branson or Arkansas, she's a broker in both and you now have establishments in both right. Yes, we have anments in both right.

Speaker 2: 22:00

Yes, we have an office in both states.

Speaker 1: 22:01

yes, so in Branson or Hollister Hollister, missouri.

Speaker 2: 22:05

Just outside of Branson?

Speaker 1: 22:06

yes, and what's the other one? Harrison, Arkansas. Harrison, Arkansas. So if you're in that area, they're worldwide.

Speaker 2: 22:12

We work anywhere. I put a lot of miles on my car.

Speaker 1: 22:15

So thank you again for joining me today. If you haven't yet, make sure that you hit that like button Subscribe to the channel, so you can see every time I put out a new video. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 22:29

God bless y'all and have an amazing week. Faith and Failures Podcast.