From Bitterness to Blessing - How I Overcame ANGER with Faith

Leaving a toxic relationship is just the beginning. As we sit down with our brave guest, who shares her raw and transformative journey, you'll find yourself wrapped in a story of struggle, self-discovery, and the hard-won peace that comes with healing. We unpack the tumultuous aftermath of such a breakup, the anger and bitterness that cling on, and the path to reclaiming one's sense of self-worth. This conversation goes beyond the surface, delving into how respect for oneself and alignment with core values are critical when moving forward and seeking new connections.

Our heart-to-heart doesn't stop at the emotional toll; it offers a blueprint for renewal through forgiveness and letting go. Hear how a structured class and an impactful booklet became the compass our guest needed to navigate the uncharted waters of post-divorce emotions. We open up about the power of forgiveness as an ongoing journey, the spiritual practices that sustain it, and how a simple act like a balloon release can symbolize the profound step of entrusting one's burdens to a higher power. By tapping into spiritual maturity and applying the lessons learned, our guest illustrates how anyone can emerge from the shadows of a past relationship into a life marked by emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Before we get into today's video, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the new subscribers. If you haven't yet, consider subscribing, hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video. A major portion of you that watch my videos haven't subscribed yet, so why not? It's free. You can also find a PayPal link below if you want to give a one-time or give a monthly to support the channel. Anything, great or small, is appreciated. Now let's get into the video. Okay, so you broke up with the guy, but you broke up with the guy because you went through this class, is it or no? No, you broke up with the guy because you, you came down, you felt god, so the healing part of this was from the damage that it did. That's why you needed the healing. So talk about that. Like what.

Speaker 1: 0:51

What made you decide that, even though you, you felt god told you that you needed to make the decision, you did it right. You put it on paper, you sent it to him, you, you knew in your heart that it was the right decision. So what was it that I'm going somewhere? What was it that made you feel that you needed to go to this class, like what was still inside of you, in your mind, in your heart, like what was it that you felt you need freedom from? I'm asking this because a lot of people will do something over here that solves a problem relationally, but then they still have bondage mentally and spiritually.

Speaker 1: 1:33

So what made you decide to go from? Okay, I handle business, that's taken care of, but you recognize in you that there was still something that you needed to handle for you. So what was it that made you feel like you needed to take the class? Was it you still, technically, weren't over him, you still were grieving, I mean, because it was a loss. You know You're still in a grieving process. Like what did that look like?

Speaker 2: 1:56

There was just some bad emotional baggage that I had, yeah, some anger, some bitterness, resentment, some unforgiveness.

Speaker 1: 2:07

That's important because you can know what God told you to do and do it, but still you have to live in the echo of what happened or what you were dealing with. And there's oftentimes like pastors go through this or leaders in churches will go through this, where they'll help everybody else, they'll get everybody else well, and they end up suffering in silence themselves because they never actually address their own stuff and like you're doing right now, telling other people, hey, you probably need to break up with them, but then you didn't yet have that freedom to speak from a place of freedom to show them the next steps. After so, anger, bitterness. Even though you did the right thing, you were still angry. Now, what was stemming from the anger?

Speaker 2: 2:56

Like, where did that come from? It was the fact that you know he, he misabused me. I'm like he. Just he manipulated me to doing things that I otherwise wouldn't have done yeah I was like I was mad because, like, like you did this, to why like all these things he did. I'm just like I want answers to yes yeah but sometimes I can move on without it yeah I can live without knowing that stuff all about him.

Speaker 3: 3:26

All this time. He never considered always.

Speaker 2: 3:29

It was always about him, always on him. He never considered my feelings, how I felt about things. No respect whatsoever again no respect.

Speaker 1: 3:42

That may be too old for some of y'all, but that's, that's a good. A lot of times, I think in relationships respect is men desire to be respected, but I think sometimes we forget to give that back to the woman. Yes, women love security. Women like to be taken care of. They want their needs met, but also both parties need respect too.

Speaker 2: 4:02

Yeah, I don't know, no way, no way.

Speaker 1: 4:08

That's a big one right there. Not respecting the parents, that was one of my. It's funny that I look back now I don't ask my son this, but when I would talk about dating a girl or whatever, or saying my dad would say, is she filled with the holy ghost? And I said, oh no, dad, I've been doing for like three weeks. He's like, well, son, if she ain't filled with the holy ghost, you know the whole pentecostal stuff, but but but things, the things like that that are important to us should be important, like honoring your parents, like you honor them, is important in finding someone that you're going to marry. I mean, that's the whole reason for for dating people is to find somebody to, to be with, to share a life with.

Speaker 2: 4:49

Like the dates. The dates are cheap. Now you know what she really wants. Like let's go to the hobby tree and let's get some white cakes and some chips only. Oh, let's go to Putt-Putt I used to work there so we can get around and go for free, Cause I know one of the managers.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Well, at least he was staying in the budget. He never paid for anything. He never really paid.

Speaker 2: 5:15

He never really paid, so you didn't really go on dates, I mean maybe the first few dates. He paid for the meals, for the activities.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:24

But after that it just all went downhill.

Speaker 1: 5:27

Oh, he hooked you. He got you with the first couple free meals like a drug dealer First time's free.

Speaker 2: 5:32

There was one date that we were on. It was me, him and my stepsister. We were at the Hall of Fame in a tree ate our food, and I looked at him. He was paying for his meal. I looked at him. I said well, aren't you going to pay for our meal too? He said no, because I'm trying to save up for our future.

Speaker 1: 6:00

So he was going to feed you to save for your future. Yeah Well, if you don't get fed, you won't make it to your future.

Speaker 2: 6:06

I'm thinking hold on, how does that work?

Speaker 1: 6:11

How does that work? Well, his mom was always in the picture trying to. She interfered with the breakup no oh okay

Speaker 2: 6:17

no but you don't remember.

Speaker 1: 6:21

That's not a traumatizer that much. If she didn't, she forgave. She don't remember that.

Speaker 2: 6:29

I don't know I don't remember that apartment. Look how I met this guy back in 2019, fresh out of high school, going into college, and this beautiful nikon my grandpa got me yeah, and I just wanted to learn more about how to use it, figure out how to get started. So I just went out and did all on my own because going to college, the professor had just retired. I'm angry about that. Still, I thought to this day because I just that ended the whole photography program I roll it.

Speaker 1: 7:04

Wow, but hold on side note. Shameless plug. Tell them about your business. Go ahead and tell them while we're here might as well, but while she's telling you, go ahead and subscribe to the channel.

Speaker 2: 7:16

Thank, I am also a photographer franklin arts photography on facebook. Franklin underscore underscore arts on instagram. Follow me, message me for anything really, except for except extreme photos, please. No, it was great, but I got a message yesterday from someone saying saying all my photos taken. I'm like okay, is that's me all? How old are you? You look young that's the first flag right there yes, I am young, I'm in my 20s, I was. I was gonna take extreme photos. How?

Speaker 1: 7:57

extreme. Are we talking here bmx skateboarding? What are we talking about?

Speaker 2: 8:01

extreme sports exactly that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking like skateboarding bmx yeah all those things, parkour even. And then he messaged back saying naked I'm like whoa.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Welcome to the internet, people, where all the perverts live.

Speaker 2: 8:20

Okay.

Speaker 3: 8:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 8:23

He messaged back saying thank you, but I cannot help you in the department. He messaged back with a thumbs up emoji. I blocked him. I'm leaving the message like I would have reported him. I report those jokers and talked to one of my friends outside and he said block and report. I said done, already done.

Speaker 1: 8:45

He said good so let's get back to the, the freedom stuff. So now that you're out of the class on the other side, do you feel that you have truly forgiven and released that? Or is it kind of a little bit like sanctification, kind of an ongoing process? Because I have been married to Jesse for nine years in April, but 11 years ago, 12 years ago, I was severely hurt by my first wife and sometimes that anger still can, still can try to come up and make it to the surface.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Yeah, so, but but before we go there, sorry, let's go back into the class. So what were some of the steps that you did to get rid of for people out there that maybe are on the other side of a bad relationship? What were some of the steps that you did, or some of the steps you learned to release that anger, to deal with the anger, the bitterness, the anxiety that can come with stuff like that? What were some of the things, some of the tools that were given to you in this class that kind of helped you release that and really give it to God? The booklet.

Speaker 2: 9:54

The booklet.

Speaker 1: 9:55

What's the booklet Explain?

Speaker 2: 9:56

Like each week, of course, the course is each week we have one course to go through.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Oh, so you're talking about the course you actually went through? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 10:11

We, we have a little section we go through each week. So in each section, it talks about this, what this is and this, how to deal with it. Yeah, like with the forgiveness, talk to god about it and, of course, god. What do I need to do to? What do I need to do to forgive this person from x y z, x y z, and how do I do it? For me it was, how do I forgive him for all the mental abuse that he caused me?

Speaker 1: 10:37

on trauma. So what was that answer? Like what? What is it that helps you to not forgive in a moment's note, like in that moment, in a moment in time, but to continually forgive him every single day? Now, I understand a lot of times. The time will help you forgive because you'll be further and further away from the initial hurt. But what is it that you learned from the class? That was a tool to get you to that place, to where you could.

Speaker 1: 11:09

It took time and it took effort because I guess since the breakup it's been a little bit of time, a couple. You know what a year and six months or so when you took the class, how long ago was it yeah like yeah, six months, because it was last

Speaker 1: 11:21

fall yeah yeah fall so that was yeah time. So time, the of God obviously reads scriptures. Do you remember offhand some scriptures? Or maybe from your book that was something that had to do with forgiveness, that maybe something that you wrote on your heart, or maybe you memorized to keep you forgiving? Oh, I sure remember something. Yeah, oh, yeah, talk about the balloon. You always walk out there with the balloons on. Yes, okay, tell it what that is, what that means the balloon.

Speaker 2: 11:53

The balloon is to represent the white part, is to represent, it's the god. And then there's a ribbon, a red ribbon, then, attaching the god to basically the wrist, which is, and that represents, the blood of Jesus.

Speaker 3: 12:09

Okay.

Speaker 2: 12:10

What you do is you write the names of the people you're forgiving on the balloon. When you release that balloon, you're supposed to be giving it all to God. It's a symbol, right, a symbol of I'm giving this to you, yeah, because it's done.

Speaker 1: 12:28

I think sometimes in processes like this, it takes that symbol so that you can have something tangible in your hands, because forgiveness is something you don't see, it's not something you can actually wrap your hands on. So to give that to God and let it go. So y'all just let it go, put helium in it, just let it float up in the air.

Speaker 2: 12:44

Well, it's actually already blown up. It's a helium balloon.

Speaker 3: 12:54

So we just let it go and just be free. When you let something go, like when you, that's an example, you know that's just not. If I let it go when this person, I can never come back to your mind. You can't.

Speaker 2: 13:05

Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah, I can't give again, because I've gave it to God. Yeah yeah, forgiveness is an ongoing process. It's not a once and done thing.

Speaker 1: 13:20

Someone explained it to me, like talking about forgiveness or your burdens and the way they said it. For some reason it just stuck with me and it made a lot of sense. Like we come to the altar to give our burdens to the lord but leave them there, don't pick them up when you leave the altar. And that was. It's kind of the same thing. Yeah, once you let it go, once you let that go in physical terms, it's impossible to get it back.

Speaker 2: 13:43

Yeah, I mean, of course the satan didn't come back and remind you. Let that go. In physical terms it's impossible to get it back. Yeah, I mean, of course satan didn't come back and remind you of that same thing over and over and over again. But you have to, you have. This is why thank you, steven and ringweed for saying it we have to be grounded in the word of god. We have to be prepared when the enemy comes against us so we can attack him.

Speaker 1: 14:08

Are you saying you've got some spiritual maturity going on over there?

Speaker 2: 14:11

Pretty much that's good.

Speaker 1: 14:14

So, on the outside of the class, what are some of the things from the class that now you apply to your everyday walk, your everyday journey of continuing to forgive? What does that look like for you? What? What from the class? Some key points or or things you have lodged in your memory and down into your heart to give you good, healthy fruit, not only in the spirit, but mentally, physically, emotionally, like? What are some of the things from the classes you apply every day?

Speaker 2: 14:40

funny thing. You'd say good roots or good fruits. I'm sorry, because in anger, the anger you talk about good fruits produce good root or good roots produce good fruits. Yeah, bad roots produce bad fruits yeah and I have to remember that every day, when I'm especially at work I was wondering what you did.

Speaker 1: 15:04

I saw you putting some stuff on it earlier. I'm like man, she did something.

Speaker 2: 15:07

That's a bad burn. Oh yeah, absolutely. What'd you do? So? Potatoes You're going to hear this story. Potatoes, I make three pans of them. I'm like, okay, sticky potatoes, peel them, wash them and just peel them. Come up, pour, just peel them, cut them up, put it on the stove. I'll do half, I'll half it, 30 and 30. So got the first three boiled, picked up the pot, I went to transfer it and my grip started slipping. I was like it's either me, it's right here. I was like it's either me, it's right here. I was like it's either me or the potatoes, and I was not about to just tell them that's it done and just let them burn my legs, because that would have been worse. Instead, I said so. I said that's it, we're going down together. We're going down together. We're going down together, lost a couple of potatoes. Potatoes lost a little bit of skin. But I mean what?

Speaker 1: 16:07

it's okay, yeah little potato, little skin. Potatoes have skin. There you go. So bad roots, bad fruit, good roots, good fruits. So did y'all learn about fruits of the spirit in there?

Speaker 3: 16:20

yeah, for the spirit yeah, go over a little. Okay, got bad fruit, get free, bring the spirit on one side of the end. That's.

Speaker 1: 16:31

Yes, that's true, okay, the flesh. Yeah, was that a big hurdle for you, or a big, a big one?

Speaker 2: 16:38

that was an issue was anger yeah, that kind of was one because he, because he did, because, again, the mental abuse, the manipulation, the way his parents carnal, with with them being autistic and bipolar, having a lot of issues with just him.

Speaker 1: 16:58

Yeah, a lot of issues. So how did you get past your anger then? Because that's probably a big one for a lot of people realizing that I can't hold on that stuff.

Speaker 2: 17:06

Man, the more I'll hold on this stuff, the more damage I'm doing to myself yeah more harm trying to get on the same goes, I don't know it's like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die yeah I've heard like what was it?

Speaker 1: 17:22

anger. Anger always hurts you, like you could be so angry with someone, so bitter at somebody, and you'll see them again and they won't even know how much damage they're doing to you and it's all you're. You're turning it back internal, like it's not hurting them at all to be up, for you to be upset with them at all. Like you said at the very beginning, like forgiveness. A part of that forgiveness is understanding that it's not about them, it's about you being free.

Speaker 2: 17:54

But so, from a day to day, how you doing as every day, day to day, it's not easy, of course, but I have to remember it's yours, it's not mine.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Cheers so specifically on this live stream today, we've talked about more of a relationship, finding freedom from those relationship, poisonous relationships that we should let go and not continue to be a part of. So what would be some closing thoughts for someone either in a bad relationship that is not good for them, or on the other side, and they're kind of how you felt. They're in that, that space of all kinds of emotions mauled up and just shook up real hard. You know, like it's almost what it feels like, like you take a soda bottle and you shake it up and it's just like eventually it's gonna pop and you can either gently release the pressure or it's going to blow up and usually it'll end up hurting the people around you the most. So what would be some encouraging words you can give to somebody that's either in it or has been through it and they're trying to heal?

Speaker 2: 18:56

If you're in it, as in just leaning on God, leaning on those close to you, seeking wise counsel, because the older generation, believe it or not, they actually know something yeah they actually know something about our relationships y'all can't see it, but she's praising the lord in the corner over there.

Speaker 1: 19:19

She's like, yes, she's right, I do know things more than most of all of us. But yeah, sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 19:25

It's okay. And for those of you who have been through it already and are still trying to get over it, walking through that freedom and that day-to-day process, like I am, again seek wise counsel. Those of the older generation know as best those log things.

Speaker 1: 19:43

Yeah Well, morgan, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. I really appreciate you taking time out of your day. Thank you, sister Stella, for coming and being a support. She is the lady for finding freedom. Her story is an amazing story. One day I'd like to get her on here and share her story. So, once again, thank you so much for joining the live stream. If you're watching this later, thank you, make sure you like and share the video and go over to our YouTube channel. Make sure you subscribe to the channel If you're on Facebook, faith and Failures, if you're on Instagram, faith and Failures, or if you ever want to be a guest on the show, whether in person, like we are today, or if you want to do a live stream, zoom call we can also do it that way as well.

Speaker 1: 20:27

Faithandfailures at gmailcom. You can reach out to me there Also. Most of you know that at least once a week, if I get the time, I also do a kind of reaction videos where we talk about scripture and we look at what's going on in the culture. We should be biblical people that are living in the culture, not culture people trying to Read the bible every now and then. So we want to tackle the culture head on. Know what the scripture says so that you can know truth when you're faced with a lie. Thank you all so much. We'll see you next time and have a great week.

Speaker 3: 21:03

Faith and failures podcast.